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criminally vulgar

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(no subject) [Sep. 18th, 2009|10:47 am]
criminally vulgar
i am seeing a psychic medium in october. i have never done anything like this before, but i really need to reach out to my nana... at the cost of one hundred dollars per hour. thanks, nana. doncha know i'm unemployed and i don't have all kinds of money? why can't you like, do ghosty things to correspond with me? like spell out a message using my hairpins or something, fah chrissake.

brandon, diane, and i are going down to santa cruz for randall's birthday tomorrow. he wants to rent a boat and take it out on the ocean. i haven't been on a boat in FOREVER. hmm...

now, to make the most ridiculous birthday cake evar.

i am going to the park to lay out in the sun. weird. last summer, i was slapping on the highest spf sunscreen i could find. now i want a healthy glow- just a LITTLE colour.
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(no subject) [Sep. 16th, 2009|12:39 am]
criminally vulgar
i had a really awful day today.

i want a hot fudge sundae.

i kind of have a crush on this dude.

I have no concept of time.

his other videos are dumb and not as cute. i don't recommend them.

that's all.
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(no subject) [Sep. 12th, 2009|09:36 am]
criminally vulgar
i am pretty excited to actually do something that MATTERS- starting today. waiting tables doesn't 'matter.' sales management doesn't 'matter.' in the end, pursuing a master's in cinema to later teach does matter, but that's lightyears away.

so i don't feel like i've ever done anything that really 'matters.' but volunteering at san francisco's animal care and control matters. a lot.

San Francisco Animal Care and Control is responsible for the city's lost, abandoned, injured, sick, neglected and mistreatedanimals.We receive approximately 14,000 animals every year and rely heavily on volunteers to assure the success of our efforts.Whether you work with the animals, the public or on special projects, you will improve the quality of life for the animals in our shelters and increase their chances for adoption. Volunteers not only brighten the lives of our resident animals, but enrich our lives as well. Volunteers must be at least 18 years old.

Cat Volunteer
This high-profile volunteer keeps company with our cats who are awaiting adoption, assists adopters in choosing the best new feline companion for their home and family, and shows anxious owner/guardians through our lost and found rooms.

Dog Volunteer **Not available at this time**
This high-energy volunteer provides exercise, leash practice and off-leash playtime to our available dogs. An assortment of interesting and informative dog training and behavior classes are available at no charge to our dog volunteers.

Small Animal Volunteer
This special volunteer works in the serenity of our small animal room, giving visits and veggies to our rabbits, rats, hamsters, guinea pigs, birds, iguanas, and whateverother small and exotic animals come our way.S/he introduces adopters to the animals, provides education about the proper care required for these special animals and guides them in choosing the best small companion for their home and family.

Training Volunteer
Volunteers who enjoy sharing their skills and knowledge are essential to the growth of our volunteer program. Volunteer trainers and mentors provide education and guidance to new volunteers by teaching classes, conducting one-on-one sessions and by pairing up with less experienced volunteers to help them build their confidence and comfort on the job.

Kitten Foster Volunteer
This nurturing volunteer provides home care for kittens needing one-on-one time and attention before they can be placed in our adoption program.

Community Affairs Volunteer
This highly organized volunteer brings excellent oral and written communication skills to the areas of volunteer coordination, event coordinating, media relations and administrative support in our busy Community Affairs office. Whether on-going or on-call, these "take care of business" volunteers can fill a spot in the nick of time.

Reserve Officer
This rugged and resilient volunteer will work on the front lines with our Animal Control Officers as they respond to animal emergencies and enforce animal welfare laws throughout our city. This program requires that participants first volunteer and accrue hours in an animal handling volunteer position.

uhm, i can't decide on just ONE of those volunteer positions! maybe i'll just stay there like, eighty hours a week and do everything.

the kitten foster volunteer sounds pretty great! and tigre might enjoy having little friends to play with. but i don't think i could handle raising a kitten and then putting it up for adoption. heartbreakinggggg. for me, and for the kittens. since i am the best kittymomma EVER, surrendering a kitty i fostered would just be cruel and unusual punishment. they would be like, 'what the eff? what happened to that crazy lady that spoiled the crap out of me and sang to me and had conversations with me?'
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(no subject) [Aug. 31st, 2009|11:00 am]
criminally vulgar
[Current Music |mew. AAAAAAM I WRYYYYYYYYY?]

kimberly's goodbye party was yesterday. we met at dolores park, went to sparky's for food, alexi gave me his hoodie because i was cold AND shared food with me because i am broke... then we went to 'our pub' in west portal. i did not drink. everyone was feeding the jukebox and demanding AWFUL songs from it. seriously. journey. jack johnson. blind melon? what?

i swear to you. when it came time for me to leave, i wrapped my arms around kimberly. she pulled away for a second and told me not to let ANYONE take me for any less than i am worth, ever, because i am worth a ton.

then i started crying.

then SHE started crying.

we just stood there and held each other. and then joy division's 'disorder' came on. what?! seriously?! i was like, 'COME ON. WHO PLAYED THIS.' kimberly giggled. she didn't understand, but she giggled anyways.

i cried on the way home. i was riding kale's bike. the front tire got caught in the MUNI tracks. i fell. hard. i started screaming. all kinds of neighbors came out. all these bicyclists stopped. i must have had a crew of 30 people surrounding me at one point. i blacked out for a second, and when i came to, someone behind me was asking if he could pass. i kind of craned around to find that it was a MUNI driver. the bus was stopped, and he had climbed out to... have me moved?

everyone was like, 'dude. she fell. she can't move, and we shouldn't move her.'

he KEPT INSISTING that he needed to pass. so i carefully pushed myself off the ground and started screaming. 'THERE YOU GO, MOTHERFUCKER. OBVIOUSLY YOUR BUS ROUTE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY SAFETY. GO AHEAD AND FINISH YOUR ROUTE. YOU STUPID FUCK.' i got up in his face and he just stared at me.

some nice man named winthrope stayed with me while we waited. someone had called for an ambulance, but an ambulance never came? kale and jess picked me up, brought me home, and fed me cake.

i called to report that driver today. fucker. i hope he gets suspended.

now i am going to vitis my chirporactor. and maybe stop by sf general hospital for x-rays? i don't know. i don't know. this summer has been AWFUL. if i didn't know any better, i'd say some chaos magician put some kind of negative energy spell on me or something. but i don't believe in that kind of stuff. do i?
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(no subject) [Aug. 28th, 2009|10:24 am]
criminally vulgar
I JUST SCORED TWO PAID GIGS WITH MTV! we are filming today and saturday.

sorry, jello. i love you, but... i gotta get PAID, bro.
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(no subject) [Aug. 24th, 2009|10:07 pm]
criminally vulgar
i saw a puch moped today and now i just won't SURVIVE without one. :(

i am pretty sure most mopeds have to be registered with the DMV, and i'd have to get my motorcycyle license and all that crap. blech. i guess an old schwinn stingray or beach cruiser will have to do. but god- that puch is SO badass. it would go well with some old military-issued jungle boots... a faux leather jacket... some gnarly shades... siiiiiiiiigh...

i made brandon a pretty awesome birthday slideshow video thing. the new kids on the block, henry rollins, jeff buckley, and morrissey helped. thanks, guys!

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(no subject) [Aug. 23rd, 2009|10:47 pm]
criminally vulgar
[Current Mood |stabby.]
[Current Music |joy division. ice age.]

i spent a few hours with kimberly this evening. in about a week, she's moving to australia. she and i have had our ups and downs. but she and brandon have been my best friends since i've been here. i can't believe she's leaving. it hit me pretty hard this afternoon. it will hit me even harder when she leaves next tuesday.

now that i'm officially uninsured, my meds cost about fifty bucks a month. i'm out. and i can't afford them. i felt really off all day. tomorrow will be worse. randall is coming up tuesday- i'm sure we can pick them up then. it's frustrating being unable to purchase something i genuinely need in order to get through the day.

but in just a week or two, i'll have several thousand dollars in my bank account.

randall and i are going back to milwaukee mid-september to hang out with my family, celebrate his birthday at house on the rock with my sisters, stay at this awesome hotel, and attend haven and michael's wedding ceremony.

i decided that, come october, i wanted to fly out to ohio to visit nik. i haven't seen him in years and years. i dream about him often. and i miss him. just because we couldn't be lovers doesn't mean we can't be friends. i care for nik a great deal. i thought it would be cool to run out to ohio for a few days and stomp around together, go record shopping, visit museums, go out drinking... i figured maybe i would take him and his girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant...

but no. he gave me some fucking dumb excuses about how he can't take time off work- about how the whole thing would upset his girlfriend. yeah. OKAY, DUDE. i'm not trying to FUCK YOU. i'm not trying to scoop you back up into my loving arms and coo depeche mode tunes at you. i'm trying to be your fucking FRIEND. whatever. you can choke on your shitty excuses and your cheap beer.

(no subject) [Aug. 21st, 2009|09:27 pm]
criminally vulgar
[Current Mood |headachey.]
[Current Music |cocteau twins. from the flagstones.]

randall and i saw 'district 9' the other night. i was pleasantly surprised- well done! at first, i found the fact that the prawns and humans could communicate so easily [despite a language barrier] pretty 'convenient' for the screenwriters. it felt like a cheap way out. but i don't know. i got over it, got into it, and i'd definitely give it 3.5 stars. okay, 3.75 stars. but not 4.

i am pretty excited about my fall schedule. jess is dropping into my figure drawing class. brandon works at a framing and art supply store, so he hooked us up with TONS of supplies. since i have like, zero dollars to my name.

during cinematography and lighting, this really brilliant [not to mention gorgeoussssss] lady from my screenwriting class a while back approached me and assembled a team for us to work with this semester.

and then one of my old boyfriends ended up being in my astronomy class. huh.

we had some people over for dinner last night! it was just me, jess, kale, diane, olivia, and then three of jess' friends. dinner was great, but afterward, we went onto our back patio/porch and made s'mores over a tiny charcoal grill. it was amazing!

today, jess and i biked out to best buy. i have a gift card left over from christmas, and i needed to buy some headphones. i also picked up some batteries for my handheld lover and some chocolate-covered strawberries. afterward, we biked out to dolores park, drew, and drank red stripes. i didn't finish mine. beer makes me feel bloated. and i learned hours later, it gives me a headache. blech.

i am throwing a surprise birthday party for brandon on tuesday! i hope randall can take the day off work and come up for it. i want to visit the MOMA with him beforehand.
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(no subject) [Aug. 17th, 2009|06:55 pm]
criminally vulgar
[Current Mood |hungry.]
[Current Music |shoegazey crap.]

how does a salad-tossing mansonite become an eastern orthodox christian? for serious. i don't get it.

LOL @ YR MOM'S HAIR! nice.

i snapped a photo of this photo [taken circa 1995ish?] because it's pretty much the funniest thing ever.

i told randall that jess and kale were taking off for a few days, so if he could come up, we'd have the place to ourselves. he HESITATED because he really needs hours. WHAT?! maybe you didn't hear me when i said, 'PLACE. TO. OURSELVES.' haha... aww, cute- he's practical and he has great work ethic. welp, i'm just an unemployed nymphomaniac.

speaking of unemployment... one of the directors of our cinema department told me today that she can't take me on board in the issue room because there is NO FUNDING to hire help. she told me she can't even hire a secretary. god. that could have been my job. i could have been the office assistant of the cinema department. :(

i read today that california is number one in the united states for prison spending, and number 48 in education. not to mention one of the proposed solutions to our budget crisis is: CLOSE STATE PARKS. god. i don't even want to think about it- it makes me so angry.

only thing that can cure that rage: jen miller is coming to see me in september! <3

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(no subject) [Aug. 15th, 2009|10:34 pm]
criminally vulgar
[Current Mood |emotionally hungover.]
[Current Music |lush. for love.]

randy called me and told me he had this awful nightmare that i didn't love him- i was just pretending to love him. and then someone he knew from a long time ago that doesn't exist in real life [ryan] was going to rape me, so randy had to go to some sexual abuse counseling thing. but when he came back to look for me, i was in this candlelit room with ryan. we had thee doors locked. randy heard me tell ryan that we couldn't tell anyone what was going on.

i had bad dreams last night, too. my nana and my papa came back- but i was the only one that knew. i was the only one that could see or hear them. i made dinner for the three of us, and when my mom and the girls came home, i was like, 'LOOK! nana and papa are back! see? these are our dirty dishes from dinner!' my mom didn't believe me. she asked, 'did you cut up nana's carrots for her?' i nodded proudly.

but then they were gone.

yesterday, i learned that the cost of repairing my car exceeds the value of the car itself. so it is gone, dead. i have mixed feelings about it, of course. and i haven't yet decided how to dispose of it. but these kids are throwing out some helpful advice.

i walked three miles to the theatre downtown this evening. i could have taken a shortcut and snipped half a mile off my journey. hell, i could have even taken the bus. but i don't know, i just felt like walking. i saw '500 days of summer.' randy had suggested we see it together a few days ago, but i knew he had no interest in it, and was therefore only suggesting it because he knew I'D want to see it. so i pretended i didn't care. i like to save face in front of people sometimes. like, 'oh, i don't like romantic comedies that much- i'd rather watch dead alive or something.'

yeah. whatever. i like romantic comedies just as much as the next broad. this film was so well-written. i identified with the protagonist, tom [played by joseph gordon-levitt] SO MUCH that i totally started crying at several points throughout the film. in addition to that, the sexy scenes were ACTUALLY SEXY, which i can't say is true for me usually. and i actually laughed out loud several times, which i usually don't do during films.

some parts were cheesy, for sure. and i didn't care for the ending. but i'm not going to discuss it, because i'd really rather you see it. really. see it. this film is definitely in my top 25 of all-time.

okay, if you really need ANOTHER reason to see it: joseph gordon-levitt in a joy division t-shirt. okay? okay? it really doesn't get any hotter than that.

someone i used to love told me that i look like zooey deschanel. she is WAY softer and WAY prettier... but this film did inspire me to bring back the bangs. now where did i set those shears?
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